A child is born, there is silence, the panic sets in, techniques are used to induce crying, the atmosphere is tense and gripping with fear as the baby continues its silence. Finally a scream pierces the silence as the child announces its life. The adults in the room sighs with relief. Whether the child is a boy or girl, we all want to hear those first cries as signs of a healthy baby. The celebrations begin.
It’s natural for babies to cry, as humans, it’s their essential self healing system and natural communication of their needs. Programs for new parents are available to help decode the language of crying. Then the binky, soothie or dummy is introduced to silence those cries.
Babies are highly sensitive to the quality of their environment. They have no protective filters and hugely effected by negative energies of harsh emotions being projected at them or present in the surrounding area. Babies react strongly to both negative and positive energetic vibes of withheld emotions, such as stress, worry, fear, judgements, jealousy etc. That’s why often women were told by midwifes to drink stout beer to calm them and to help with breastfeeding if the baby was unsettled (now replaced with honest emotional releasing to clear the “air”).
In earlier times it was normal for the mother and baby to be cared for by the women of the village and kept in a serene environment for the first 6 weeks after birth. This makes perfect sense to allow the baby to have space to adjust its energy system to its new environment outside the womb. The stresses upon mother were minimised whilst bonding strengthened. So often now babies are handled by many people with varying emotional states. The impact upon the baby is highly stressful and painful. That’s why baby screamed when handed to stern uncle Joe, jealous Johnny or uptight Sarah.
I’ve had four children with my youngest now in her 30’s, I felt such a failure as a mum if I couldn’t stop the crying, but I’d put on a brave face, acting as if I was coping. Little did I realise back then, they would have been reacting to my suppressed emotions of doubt and fear. Children are highly effected by what we are not willing to be honest with.
As an adult, its essential to maintain healthy mental health by allowing ourselves to cry. Sadly, as a society, we’ve made crying wrong because of false beliefs deeming crying, showing emotions is considered weak, especially for boys and men. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s not only sad but it’s been devastating to our health – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, because our tears hold a vital key to our innate self-healing system and soul development.
I once spent time with a 50 year old man laying in a hospital bed. He had multiple complex physical conditions that was bringing him to his earthly end. We talked gently about his life and how he was feeling. He was in extreme pain. Pain is the souls messenger – the more intense the pain, the more urgent the call to attend to soul wounding that’s being held in place by suppressed emotions. The soul, through pain, is begging for relief through emotional release and honesty.
Research show tears have pain-relieving chemicals and physical qualities, but as we learn more about the functionality of the human soul, we’re now understanding that tears have deeper qualities that take us into our heart which opens the door to the soul. The soul is our true self and that is where our emotional causal injuries are stored. And whilst these injuries remain within, they’ll dictate every aspect and level of quality in our lives. They must be released emotionally for permanent healing. Using the mind for healing is like moving the chairs around on the deck, whereas heartfelt emotions go to the engine.
He shared with me, that through his life, he’d had devastating experiences, but was extremely proud of himself that through all the pain and suffering, he’d kept to his fathers rule – boys don’t cry. He’d not cried once. I could feel those strongly held tears were desperately wanting to burst free. Based on what I’ve learned is – by keeping to his fathers rule, it was literally taking his life way too young.
Being stoic creates suffering. Honest crying relives our pain and suffering and in turn makes us healthier Christine
There are many times throughout our childhood, during the foundational years from conception to around 7 years old, we’ve experienced things that harmed us. If, due to the environment, we’ve not had the opportunities to emotionally process and release the pain and effects of each incident, that wounding sticks like mud to our soul, and remains until its released. This could take literally centuries if we’re emotionally resistant…because our soul wounds travel with us into our afterlife which means there is no REST-IN-PEACE until the emotional healing is completed.
Tears, when we allow ourselves to honestly dive into the epicentre of our pain and emotionally express that pain, we feel relief. Tears are the natural self-healing mechanism that washes the wound clean, this results in permanent healing and positive change follows. Can you remember the last time you had a good storm of emotions and felt so much better afterwards, just like when the sun shines after a storm? I’ve certainly experienced many great emotional healing storms. The more deluge and flow of tears with honest feeling, the better and lighter my inner space feels afterwards and positive change follows.
In January 2011, torrential rain and devastating floods hit Southeast Queensland when a widespread wall of water spread quickly across the land taking everything in its path. It became known as the “inland tsunami”, 36 people were killed. We cried when unimaginable heartbreaking stories were told yet sadly there was urging for people to be stoic – not to cry.
It was during the dark night of this time, in torrential rain on the Gold Coast, the One Garden Divine Botanical Essence – Tears From Heaven was created from the Yellow King Humbert Canna lily. Little did we know of the drama that was unfolding during the creation of this essence would assist with trauma healing.
Trauma, if left denied and suppressed, locked up without connecting to the pain or flow of tears will remain in situ. The soul sends constant invitations through emotional triggers to communicate to the external in its attempts for recognition, urging healthy action for healing. To heal trauma effectively and permanently, honest tears must be involved.
There are times when tears are not healing
There are times when tears are not healing, when tears are superficial – not honest, but used as a tool for manipulation, tantrums, a decoy, or self pity. In 1996, when my three sons decided they didn’t want to see me again, I cried beach towels of tears full of self pity for years on end. Over the years I tried and taught different modalities to heal, I told myself I was healing, but I finally came to realise I wasn’t changing my situation. Because I wasn’t diving into the deeper causal pain of childhood rejection. I was blaming, throwing tantrums, wanting sympathy and demanding others to make it right. This was never going to work. Finally in 2009, through the creation of One Garden Essences I was guided to new information (Divine Truth) of what I’m sharing here. That’s when I authentically began to heal and change for the better. I finally had contact with my sons. The journey of healing continues as I still have a lot of childhood wounding to unlock, but I now have the key and I continue to make progress.
This is becoming more familiar as the tides of truth are changing in our emotional awareness. Its a great change from the centuries of betrayal of our natural responses that’s been deemed so wrong. Its not easy to become emotional after being conditioned not to cry for so many years. Even after all I’ve learned and my positive experiences with crying, there are still times I want to avoid the process. We fear feeling pain, don’t trust ourselves not to loose control or haven’t got a supportive environment. So we need some help to build trust in ourselves and exercise our humility (ability to express all of our emotions whether they be joyful or painful all of the time) muscles whilst educating our environment.
One Garden Essences support our healthy natural instincts to come to the fore. There are a growing number of therapies that are complimented by One Garden Essences, such as; somatic therapy, breathwork, inner child therapy, reiki, massage, acupuncture…any therapy that guides us into our heart to feel and express. I personally avoid mindfullness techniques as it guides us to our mind, which is not the location for real, permanent change.
My go-to blend when I feeling emotionally blocked and numb is the Cleanse Blend Essence, which is a gathering of individuals essences forming a healing mandala focusing on our natural self-healing and cleansing process which involves the release of emotions, toxins and debris.
The essences act like a tuning fork of truth, for us to find our way from our artificial robotic facade selves to our natural emotional selves as human beings, the way we’re meant to be. At the same time, the essences honour our free will and never force us into doing something we don’t want to do. We get to choose how we want to respond.
We have a ripe opportunity to do better than past generations. Our young emerging generations need an environment where they can have more truthful, loving guidance and role modelling. The gift we can give them as their caregivers, is a different environment to what we experienced, so they can grow unburdened by unprocessed emotions, to be free to be their authentic selves. In the process we can reclaim our true selves and that’s a win/win.
We’re all children born to cry, feel, laugh, explore for the entirety of our lives.